The North South Divide

National League North and South Playoff Finals 09/05/2026

Kidderminster at South Shields

So it was to an industrial estate adjacent to a Tyne and Wear metro station named after the venerable Bede (not to be anal, but it's more towards Jarrow than South Shields itself) that a cursed 2025-26 campaign drew to a close in the pouring rain for your correspondent here on Tyneside.

South Shields, the second placed team in the National League North narrowly losing out to our old friends AFC [Swearfilter] in a two horse race, the young upstarts faced off against third place, more of a household name in Kidderminster Harriers who had seen off Shields as recently as the 25th April and had also seen them off here earlier in the season.

Arriving at the ground well in advance of kick off to a chorus of chants about a diminutive convicted criminal/football hooligan, I realised they were emanating from the home end. If you saw the local election results in these parts yesterday, this would come as no surprise. Still though, good news about the Dickson's pie, chips and gravy and bottle of water for only £6.20 which delighted the Martin Lewis side of me, a silver lining to an increasingly sodden day out.

If we're looking for Barrow connections they are rather tenuous at best and they were exclusively Midlands based. Their manager Adam Murray, often confused with Paul Murray, was lined up to join as assistant to Paul Cox but formally never did in the end. There was also Charlie Cooper, son of legendary former Barrow manager, Mark. Oh, and disgraced former Carlisle manager, Mike Williamson was out on the pitch warming up the Shields defenders, remember him?

The action got underway on a pitch that was splodgy at best, Shields easily dominating the opening half an hour somehow without taking the lead. There's a clear emphasis on playing out from the back, what with head coach Ian Watson out of the Russell Martin/Williamson/Elliot stable of woke. Kidderminster inevitably took the lead against the run of play through Kieren Donnelly (not that one) and soon doubled it through Charlie Cooper (yes, that one) two minutes later in front of their own fans, pandemonium. One man even fell over the top of the hoardings whilst caught up in the moment. Half time and Shields could feel this starting to slip away from them.

Just as the second half got underway, Charlie Cooper waved to someone in the stand, I turned to my left, it couldn't be could it? Could it really? Oh my God it is, the legendary former Barrow manager Mark Cooper is here, looking as grumpy as ever and no sign of any ice cream in hand, what a treat of a sighting! Anyhow the second half passed by without much incident of note and was in truth comfortable for the Harriers in the end.

Charlie Cooper exited stage left and when being substituted, father Mark remained entirely unmoved, quelle surprise. There were also cameos for former Carlisle players Cedwyn Scott and Ethan Robson off the Carlisle bench, perhaps this is where our also-rans will resurface next season as well?

Anyhow 8 minutes of stoppage time came and went and it was Kidderminster who lifted the play-off trophy. It'll be destination Aggborough for the hordes from the north this time, sadly no famous pie man here anymore for the Elf Bar generation to sample, he flew over the rainbow bridge way back when in 2020 and with his grandson pied off by the powers that be, it remains to be seen what we'll be served up next season in many different ways.

A Word on Hornchurch

The Geoff Capes Areana

Just 6 months ago you'd be forgiven for not knowing where Hornchurch is in the AA Road Atlas, let alone that they have a relatively successful football team. However, yesterday they came crashing into our orbit, with promotion through the playoffs with their win against Torquay in the National League South playoff final. I tuned into both finals, North and South, yesterday via the coverage on our new broadcaster DAZN (pronounced DaZone, for the uninitiated). As I'm sure Fraser has alluded to in his match report (above) the standard of the footballing fare on show was basic, triggering my own National League North PTSD. Kidderminster triumphing to claim a very classic non-league fixture against ourselves (or as the commentator would have it; the reward of playing teams like Carlisle, Forest Green and Southend).

Tuning into the South final (with coverage starting precisely 2 minutes before kick off), which was played at Hornchurch's home ground, The Hornchurch Stadium, there was definitely something of note. Not so much the terracotta running track which frames the pitch, we've played Gateshead often enough. And not something as absurdly comical as the Winsford greyhound track. The array of athletics equipment that punctuates the perimeter of the ground, including the imposing discus cage in the away end and high jump mat? No. The single line of Torquay fans behind the goal who look like they're queuing for a hotdog, or the others that have clambered atop a pair of Portacabins behind the four steps of terracing for an improved view? All of it, genuinely charming in its own way, the kind of thing that makes non-league football what it is.

Ok, it's very easy to be snobby (even for us) about the ramshackle series of structures littering the perimeter and obscuring views (stand down away end, there's a new King in town) but let's be honest with ourselves, that's not what this is. The reality is we've gone from level footing with teams who call 40,000 all-seater stadiums home, to a trip to Park Vale in the blink of an eye. What I will say is this: Hornchurch did their talking on the pitch. They earned the right to play at a higher level, and that is what football is all about, right? It's worth remembering we have faced 6 seasons of the same condescending comments as those that filled social media this morning about Holker St, comments from people who'd never visited, never understood what the place means. It's tiresome, and we should know better than to dish it out.

So from me, it's a warm welcome to Hornchurch. I might even make the trip down, it's inside the M25 near Upminster, by the way, which at least makes the away day logistics marginally less of an odyssey than Torquay would have been.

And so, for the first time since 2020, Barrow AFC find themselves back in the National League. The journey that began with that famous promotion under Ian Evatt has come full circle. Still, there are worse places to spend a Saturday afternoon than Altrincham, Eastleigh and, apparently, a stadium with a discus cage in the away end. We've been there before, we know what it takes to get out, and if yesterday's two finals told us anything, it's that the standard is entirely beatable, we just need to remember how to beat it.

See you on the other side.

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