The Tale of Innes Cameron and the Stabilo Boss XI

Hartlepool (A) - National League - 8th August 2026

Pepto-Bismol 3rd Kit makes it's debut

Changed Landscape

If you were unfortunate enough to suffer a medical episode that meant you were in a coma for the past twelve months, you would be forgiven for thinking that nothing has changed. Barrow playing away from home for the first game of the season in a lesser-spotted third shirt, with Big Innes Cameron leading the line in the glorious sunshine. Rekeem Harper was also there, as was Scott Smith; you would be forgiven for thinking nothing has changed, albeit everything has changed and then some. In fact, few could have predicted what could have happened in the intervening period, not least for Innes Cameron, who was shipped out on loan to Raith Rovers in the Scottish Championship in January and, for the first time in his career, scored goals and even lifted the Scottish Challenge Cup live on BBC Alba in Gaelic. What a twelve months he’s had, by the way. What a blooming twelve months we’ve had as a football club, by the way.

Sun, Surprises and Starting XIs

With Hartlepool’s Marina bathed in glorious sunshine, we had picked the best day of the year to come here (thank you very much, fixture computer). There was barely a picnic bench unoccupied in front of a series of bars enticing thirsty Barrovians with exclusive drinks offers, including former goalkeeper Simon Bishop, "As an actress said to Simon Bishop", etc., etc. We were expecting Reidy; where the chuffing hell is Reidy? As team news filtered through at 14:00, the big surprise was Big Innes instead of ex-Pools bagsman Alex Reid. Danny Amos instead of Ben Jackson, and Scott Smith rather than Isaac Marriott, were also surprises, albeit not on the same scale as the choice of striker. Winterbottom got a start in goal for the first time since being poleaxed at Tranmere (a). There were debuts for Kennedy Digie and Paul Kalambayi at centre-half. We named an out-and-out right-back starting at right-back for the first time in 511 days in the shape of Marcel Oakley. Scott Smith, MJ Williams, and Rekeem Harper were a familiar midfield three. Meanwhile, new boys Ollie Crankshaw and George Walker supported Big Innes in a front three of sorts.

Highlighter Pens and First-Half Frustrations

The last time I saw a big Scottish bloke sporting hi-vis, it was someone maintaining the verges on the hard shoulder of the A74(M). The teams made their way out onto the pitch to completely unnecessary flamethrowers, befitting of Hartlepool’s nouveau-riche status, which meant they were able to entice Jack Nolan and former Bluebird loanee Will Harris to the club. Another former loanee in the shape of the enigmatic Chris Popov also started, whilst Neo Eccleston (of former right-back fame) started on the bench.

We started with the sort of intent we have been told to expect: direct, in-your-face, like being chased around in a night terror by 11 human-sized highlighter pens. We had two early corners; the pick of the two saw an excellent delivery headed across goal by the imposing Kennedy Digie in the 5th minute, but to little avail. Ollie Crankshaw absolutely twatted Jay Benn in the 10th minute with a fair but robust challenge, and there was a break in play that would surely be added on at half-time. Apart from that, not a right lot happened, with the new-look Barrow breaking up any rhythm in Hartlepool’s play with a series of regular fouls. However, a dangerous corner whipped in by the home side in the 34th minute that skidded across the face of goal without anyone getting meaningful contact was ominous. A Brooklyn Illunga cross wasn’t properly dealt with by MJ Williams and fell to an improperly marked Will Harris, who fired home impressively past Winterbottom to put the home side 1-0 up. The cliché I would reach for is that it was against the run of play, but there was "no run of play" for it to be against during a half where both sides largely cancelled each other out.

Missed Chances and Refereeing Chaos

The response was almost instantaneous, with Scott Smith slipping Innes Cameron through on goal in the 40th minute, one-on-one with the keeper just like he was at Chesterfield this time last year. Again, he unfortunately fluffed his lines; with his first touch taking him slightly away from goal, he made what was an easy chance more difficult by narrowing the angle and electing for an elaborate chip which sailed over the bar. Bugger. There were similar scenes moments later when Cameron’s pass put Crankshaw through on goal; though more difficult to score than the former’s attempt, Crankshaw also tried to chip the keeper, who easily caught his effort. Referee Callum Jones added on 2 minutes shortly afterwards but inexplicably blew up despite the massive clock in the corner signifying that only 45 seconds had been played—peculiar, but far from the most egregious refereeing error we have ever seen.

What followed beggars belief: whether the vertically challenged whistler couldn’t take the ringing in his ears from gaffers Murray and Clark, or feared a dressing-down from his assessor, he unexpectedly brought both sets of teams back out onto the playing field to play out the final minute or so. I have never seen anything like it. During that period, we won a free-kick on the edge of the area which failed to materialise into anything, and the referee blew up for half-time 2.0 in front of a largely stunned Victoria Park shortly thereafter. As the teams emerged for the second half, someone shouted "Hitler Youth" at his incredibly fair-haired linesman, which I enjoyed greatly, but the true despot of the officiating team had to be the jumped-up little dictator dressed in black, holding a whistle with cards in his back pocket.

Substitutions and Heartbreak

Whatever plan we had to get back at Hartlepool in the second half was nullified by some proactive Pools substitutions. Jay Benn, failing to recover from being clattered by Crankshaw in the first half, was replaced by Barrow legend Neo Eccleston after 49 minutes. He was soon joined by Maxim Kouogun and a man once signed by David Moyes for £10 million, Jordan Hugill, as they replaced Liam Gibson and the ineffective (quelle surprise) Chris Popov. The introduction of the big Cameroonian, Kouogun, seemed to be to prevent Barrow from getting in behind Gibson after those two incidents at the end of the first half. Shortly afterwards, a Danny Amos shot was parried by Max Merrick, which cannoned off a combination of Scott Smith and Ollie Crankshaw before being promptly (and correctly) chalked off for offside.

Adam Murray responded by introducing Ben Whitfield and Danny Rose for George Walker and Rekeem Harper respectively. The former was industrious on the right-hand side, but any deliveries or balls into the box either failed to beat the first man or were easily claimed by Pools custodian Max Merrick. A triple Murray substitution after 78 minutes saw Jackson, Marriott, and Reid introduced for Amos, Smith, and Crankshaw respectively. We were going with two big men up front; we would continue to launch balls up towards Big Innes if we were to get anything out of this. In the 84th minute, some hold-up play by Hugill and Terry Bondo resulted in the ball falling to Jack Nolan, who let rip through a sea of bodies. The ball clonked off the post and into the back of the net past Ben Winterbottom in front of a disconsolate away end, and that was that.

Looking Ahead

It was a game that most certainly wasn’t for the purists, and, like the opening-day defeat last season, there’s little shame in losing away against one of the title favourites, especially given the fact we got in behind their defence on more than one occasion. Call me easily pleased, but it was refreshing to deploy an actual right-back, Marcel Oakley, who acquitted himself reasonably well. I expected to see more of Reid and Marriott, and I’m unsure Amos justified his starting berth ahead of Jackson, albeit this is a sample size of one game. One of the key objectives for Adam Murray’s Greco-Roman wrestlers this season will be to reconstruct Fortress Holker Street, to which a victory against Hornchurch next weekend would be seen as fundamental for a successful 2026-27 campaign. However, scenes from Brunton Park are a timely reminder that we underestimate your Hornchurches, your Worthings, your Kidderminsters, and your [swearfilters] at our peril. We go again (not dressed as highlighter pens this time).

Footnote

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